I left when I caught her in yet another lie. I just told her congrats, and enjoy, and to let me know when her attorney had the divorce papers ready for me to sign. I know why he apologises to random people for things she accuses him of, because I used to do it. But she spends all of his money, refuses to work (no kids), lives in the gym, and asked several women in our office if we knew any guys with money that we could introduce her to. His whole attitude is like I have done something to him and he is now out to get mewhatever it takes. At first it was really hard but taking the time to get to know myself, focus on my children and recovery was the best choice Ive ever made! After about a week he was texting me and calling me again and wanting to work things out. This sounds all to familiar. Narcissists usually get remarried as a way to improve their image and supplement their sense of self worth. Nope. The year they were dating/engaged (she was in a rush to marry him and get a visa less than 12 months after they met) she spammed him with over the top public declarations of love that read like she was quoting bits of a romance film. even went on a smearing campaign with ex friends to talk bad about me and get discriminating knowledge about me. I was married to a NARC and dealt with a lot of dark things from this man. There is almost nothing a narcissist wont do if he thinks it will bring him fame. Your european teaser was a Narc, you are correct, once a Narc always a Narc. Someone is either single and available or not in my mind. Think Narc, think Medussa. A few weeks ago I discovered my Narcissist ex husband and his 4th wife (15yrs his junior) are expecting their first child, his 4th biological child or 8th including stepchildren. He refused to let us use air conditioning or heat, yet he was a wealthy man (inherited). Some common tactics that narcissists use early in their relationships are . In many cases, narcissistic behavior patterns have led to problems in the narcissist's marriage, family, friendships, and career. I also find it weird that my ex found someone from the Philippines. I really like your response. Take notes for EVERYTHING! Please dont feel stupid. Shes teasing with her provocative comments and endless selfies. Long story short when she got home at 6pm she went right into the shower. Most worrying (to me anyway), is that she cant stand his son and complains about how annoying he is when he stays with them. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. I wonder how long they will last. Thank God they werent my kids though. Because of the prenupt- I lost all of that money I put into the marriage, and was never reimbursed, even for the years of paying health insurance from my salary benefits. Leave with kids in tow in June of 2012. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. She called me back angrily and chastised me and hung up. no, never knew if I was coming or going, I gave all that I had, NOT ENOUGHT, when he was injured from a surgery I was there for him 24 seven wipe his ass clean up his everyday masses, took over everything around the house. Because the narcissist is so consumed with themself, they have no room to be concerned about what someone else . I think she is also a NARC and they feed off of each other well, after the cruise and the Altercation she leaves and has not returned as of yet but comes on the weekends to be a wife and to let him spend time with their 7 month old daughter together. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. His answer was I want sex how I want it.too bad for you. 6 hours later she called and I said what the heck, what, are u with another guy? Let go of your financial input like the health insurance etc. A few months after breaking up with him, went home from a local dance in my dads home town with someone else and moved in with him three months later (I was 15, my sister was 5). He would take the light bulbs out of the lights and hid them, because he thought it was burning too much electricity. Your problem is now someone elses, you were able to take care of all the kids as much as you could, you survived the relationship, you didnt loose your life, your sanity, your werent driven to take his life with all you went through. Very abusive, cold, unaffectionate, enjoys insulting and humiliating him in front of people (then grinning at me, as if Im supposed to enjoy her abuse as well), openly admits she married him for the money, jokes about cheating on him and taking half his stuff if they ever divorce. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. The narcissistic personality is unstable in each and every one of its dimensions. I feel a certain amount of guilt knowing this marriage will end like the others have and there is nothing I can do or say to stop the destruction of another family. So i said then why did you not introduce me to him as your husband and she said he did not want to meet me. Someday the kids will figure all this out. He is trying desperately to get me and my now five year old son (who is his only child) out of the house. Got a job for two months, complained that the boss was mean because she couldnt get away with being an arrogant spoiled brat at work, then ragequit one day. I have recently been discarded from my ex narc and its been about 3 months. I believe now that he got bored or I was not filling his supply like the excitement of a new relationship and he had to quickly get that addiction met so he didnt feel bad. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. Isnt is funny that Im not the one who rushed out and jumped into another marriage.. This My ex was engaged a month after i moved out We were still working on our marriage At least years what he said. 5. He STILL tried to get me back.. Why? What Happens When the Narcissist loses in Court? I signed a pre-nupt. Cost-inflicting narcissists rely on the use of bullying and . I got a wage deduction order and the divorce said that he had to pay me until death or in the event that I lived with someone else. An episode of narcissistic rage derives from a threat to a person's sense of self and is characterized by intense anger. http://samvak.tripod.com/faq32.htmlhttp://getoveranarcissist.com/narcissist-narcissism-marriage/. In 2011 I married him. So I ask my husband about it who shrugs his shoulders and sais he has no idea what our son is talking about. It feels good to finally get a word inbut yet not the healthiest to respond in length to his lies even in writing.How long will this last? 2011-2012: Living nightmare of verbal, emotional, financial and psychological abuse. companies. All I ever heard was how I was taking away from her life. Understanding the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse | Breaking the Chain, Narcissism in Relationships | What it Means to Love a Narcissist, What to Do with a Narcissistic Christian Husband | Love Overcomes Evil, To make their previous spouse look bad or at fault for the previous relationships failure, To show they have moved on or moved up to a higher status partner, Bringing in third parties to support their made up stories (triangulation), Forgetting or not seeing things that hurt you, Spreading rumors about you to make you look bad. Id get a string you along text then full of exclamation marks an emoticons or even a selfie of her body parts. Oh my gosh, were we married to the same man?! Narcissists crave drama, positive feed back, and situations where they can dominate their partners. October: Kids report Daddy is marrying the girlfriend on 10:4/17. A narcissist's biggest source of narcissistic supply is his wife (if you are a male victim of a female narcissist, adjust the pronouns to work for your situation). I thank God we had no children. Everything in his life is in constant flux: friends, emotions, judgments, values, beliefs, place of residence, affiliations, even hobbies. I know it hurts, and I imagine you feel rejected, but those feelings will fade. An emotion that is never allowed tp be expressed in a spouse of a narcissist. Everyone should set a point for themselves where enough is enough. Needless to say he was in a BIG Rush, I just thought because he loved me so much. Truly I was like a door mat and made the fatal mistake of showing my love/emotional hand too soon (she said.) She is an amazing person that has made the wise decision to leave me. That is a material thing which is easy to let go of. As long as the narcissist continues to get attention and whatever else they need, they might be able to stay in a relationship. I am having a hard time not looking at this situation as her being better and him really loving her way more than me. Some reasons that a narcissist might have to remarry include To make their previous spouse look bad or at fault for the previous relationship's failure A Need For Complete Control People with narcissistic personalities might seek complete control in their relationships. I couldnt understand how this man could have had two lives and I didnt know. Narcissist use marriage and relationships as a way of obtaining status and prestige in their community. Threw me out of our home after 10years together for a woman he never met but who had a house and this fab virtual reality life on facebook. Although there would actually never be a marriage at all because a normal healthy stable awake person would see red flags in the early stages and would just end it instead of sticking around. His career is his only place of stability. This might look like your spouse trying to manipulate your life or gain power over you in obvious ways. That is in their nature. He was a tenant of mine and was dating someone when I met him. So, narcissists will remarry if it makes them look good. He will be 47 when the baby is born and his oldest biological child, whom he has had no relationship with since the age of 3, will be 22! Any tips on what works best when your ex , a Narcissist, begins an onslought of lies after his narcissistic binge post remarriage? Yet he gave them alllll too me. Her behavior is erratic and she leaves her children home often to go on long trips with whoever is her husband or boyfriend at the time. So, a narcissist will remarry to increase their access to the type of emotional supply that they need from other people. His children stay with me or their maternal grandmother when they are in town, not with him and call me Mom (saint mom- right!?!). waited on him hand an foot, than he divorce me. I know why he sounds flat and like all the energy and happiness has been sucked out of him. I was also full time employed as a Bank Manager. Then the hell began. Says one minute if i change some things she might come back, then next minute says we can never by husband and wife ever again. I dont know the Narcissists new wife, but was friends with his first wife and she was a total door mat to him. Sure, I would love to know what was real, and what was her just trying to make me jealous, but in the end, who cares. "Gaslighting, simply put, means that your feelings and your reality are denied by the narcissistic person. They crush peoples lives and end up on top, again and again, and again. How useful a person will be to him is the measure of their worth. 2008: meets victim number 3 (me), after a very short time together says he wants a baby ( his 2nd). But I was ready to cut HIM loose. And is now at my throat for custody. They are soon to be married and are plastering their gushing love all over social media. This went on for months and we never even kissed properly. Their need for control is whats at play here, and since you took control by asking for a divorce first, he is trying to punish you and take back the control in any way that he can. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a Supply, and you will just end up feeling pain. Both my parents are dead, and I dont want to talk about this with my kids. The second method of retention, cost-inflicting behaviors, is far darker and intimidating and just as abusive as the gift-giving method. They become involved in relationships to ensure their needs are met and obtain Narcissistic Supply. My ex is a classic, insecure narc. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. It seemed grand until my son was born then the cracks appeared, I wanted her for just me. Took work overseas over being home with our kids partly to be with GF 2. IM TOTALLY FREEEEEEEEEE. Anyways, now that the divorce is ongoing they are out in the open. I want to let all this go- but I get brain buzz when Im with all the kids- like at Christmas and with this news of his engagement, Im stunned. A narcissist marries someone who would be a good source of long-term narcissistic supply for them. Our responsibility as the people that love them is to try to mitigate the damage they cause in the relationship, understand that they are wounded individuals, and love ourselves enough to set definitive boundaries. Their need for this is related to their lack of independent self esteem or intrinsic sense of self worth. The person I met is unrecognisible from those social media posts early on. By associating with others who attract attention, he ensures that he will never be deficient in Narcissistic Supply. So he dumped me out of the blue and got a new girl 3 weeks later. Its less likely they cheated on you. This can contribute to trust issues surfacing later on in areas such as communication with an ex or activity on social media sites. He and the ex girlfriend had apparently gotten back together sometime after we were married without my knowledge. A common narcissistic marriage problem: Gaslighting. It all really depends on what their spouse does for them. I met the wife after a few months. Thank God they werent my kids though. There is no rhyme or reason to their drastic swings. In reality, a narcissist chooses to develop relationships only with those who are perceived as superior, attractive, or unique in some way. In our old house he was quick to move me out of. Ive been on a few dates, but we werent a good match. I was very successful in my work and commenced my doctorate part-time while also raising his 3 children (his wife had died). She asked myself and another woman if we knew any rich guys we could introduce her to. Thats because Im not the narcissist you tried to make me out to be. The main reason for this is that narcissists place an extremely high importance on their own needs and desires. Try not to take it personally. So, Ive been single for over 2 years now. She acted like a completely different person and declared how perfect things were, how their love was so unique and could overcome anything, how she couldnt bear to be without him, etc. He continuously criticized me and my kids. The first is true passion, while the second. What a f*cking head case! NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER (If you have kids together, put a contact management plan in place) 6. So a week ago she went to china to visit her family and a girlfriend of hers accompanied her. Ive only ever see her treat him like dirt. Some reasons that a narcissist might have to remarry include . Then i found out she was still seeing him, she called again, in front of me again and said same thing, cannot see u again, but i found out again a month later she was stiil seeing him, fortunately i had taken a job long long ways away and the next week we moved. Then i said, honestly for me, did u cheat during our marriage, and she got all mad and loud and said i told you before no and hung up. Always! Stop thinking that way. Because I was stable, he tried sweet talking me and I could tell he was trying to move back into my life again. Jesus same here. This narcissist marries, divorces and remarries with dizzying speed. He told me they ALL cheated on him. He moved in with her two weeks after moving out of our house. After about a year of this cat and mouse game I got fed up and applied for divorce. 2016: Leave the marriage. I get pregnant with daughter number 2. I divorced a narcissist 44 years ago. And his 1st wife. I guess my question is, is this normal? BC fails. They break you down, accuse you of everything and turn it all on you acting like they never ever cared for you . NO CONTACT 5. Was hard now a year later i thank god for sending the whore to my life and freeing myself from an excuse of a man who lied took my money and treated me like dirt.thank you. Securing it is their dominant drive. He did this to get at me because I wouldnt take him back, then she became pregnant and terminated the pregnancy because they were already beginning to have problems. I could go one forever with these storiesits like a bad movie!!! We clicked immediately and talked for hours after meeting. As a former victim of a psychopath in my life, I wrote this site to help everyone overcome issues with psychopathic people in their life. The best thing you can do for your relationship is take to the time to reflect on what has been going on between you, and decide based on your morals, ethics, and self-respect if the narcissist your love has crossed the line. is compensated for referring traffic and business to these I was in a relationship with a narc for 6 years. I know how perceptive children are, and if she is even a fraction as abusive towards him as she is towards her husband, then I really feel for the kid. He married a retired nurse 10 yrs his senior. He is now engaged to a Chinese immigrant who barely speaks English. My mother is a narcissist, told me shortly after my father passed of cancer how shed not only lost her husband, lover and confidenant (less than a year before telling a 13 yr old me she was planning on leaving him). My family and I have been trying to pinpoint what exactly her mental problems are and have figured that Narcissism could be a possibility. While having self-confidence or wanting to be acknowledged by others is normal, people with narcissistic personality disorder often take things to extremes. His kids will attend his wedding- I told them to stay out of the business of warning Ying- its none of their business. What a f*cking head cases! Marries me while Im 5 months pregnant. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. Will a narcissist behave better in their second marriage due to getting older and realizing they might not be able to get away with as much as they did in their first marriage, if the second spouse was more intolerant? Ignore everything you here or read 2. Narcissists get married because they want someone to inflate their ego and be a permanent source of narcissistic supply. What was I thinking? self-castigation post divorce. No honesty. Is a narcissist able to maintain his second marriage? U will feel better. I know it was weird of me to keep reading them, but its so strange to watch your own relationship being reenacted in front of you by two other people.